attentiondeficitohlookasquirrel:
I SAW GOODY PROCTOR FAKE A TASK
I SAW GOODY PROCTOR VENT
hot take: Pippin is the only one of the hobbits who is ‘team Arwen’ in the ‘who is the most beautiful woman in the world’ argument
Pippin, after being formally introduced to Arwen for the first time: hey Merry. do you think if I asked nicely enough she’d marry me instead?
Merry: Pippin. *lays a comforting hand on his shoulder*
Merry: I think it is worth a shot.
Pippin: got it *wanders away*
Frodo: why would you do that
Merry: I want to see if he’ll really try it
#PIPPIN: IF I BEAT STRIDER IN ROCK PAPER SCISSORS CAN I MARRY YOU INSTEAD? #ARWEN: UHHHHHHH #PIPPIN: GREAT! BRB
Aragorn accepts the challenge knowing full well that, as he can literally read minds, it is impossible to beat him at rock paper scissors.
Aren’t you forgetting the minor detail that Pippin would likely never think of which one he will throw?
consider: Aragorn accepts the challenge assuming he’ll win easily. Pippin wins immediately.
Arwen: well, now I must marry him. we ageed.
Pippin: :D
Aragorn: Arwen please
Arwen: I love my tiny fiance
I love it
Elrond: I don’t like it either but you agreed that if he beat you in fair combat then he could marry Arwen
Elrond: so now my daughter must marry this hobbit
Arwen: I’m comfortable with that
Aragorn: please this isn’t funny
Arwen: you should have thought of that before you accepted the challenge, I’m engaged to Pippin now.
Pippin: listen I know this isn’t actually going to end with me marrying you but this is still the best day of my life so far
what in pendejations
Where is she, Clotilde? Take me to her.
STOP NORMALIZING BEHAVIOR
If you do things, fuck you.
- Steve: Especially you Sam, I expect more from you.
- Bucky: What, you don't expect more from me?
- Steve: All I'm hoping out of you is a haircut.
