My name is Eleanor Shellstrop, and I think I might be a monster. I’m rude, I’m selfish, I cyberbullied Ryan Lochte until he quit Instagram, but something happened to me today, and from now on, I’m gonna try to become a better, kinder, more generous person.
who is this… who is this question directed to? People who have some actual dietary reason to avoid fruit? Who looks at a fruit plate and goes “nuh-uh, not unless I have a week and a 20k cash prize on the line.” Is the fruit platter actually the size of a four door sedan?? Has it been poisoned? Who made this??
The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear? The Avengers. That’s what we call ourselves; we’re sort of like a team. “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” type thing. Yes, I’ve met them. Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one. But let’s do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them. That was the plan. Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they’ll come for you. I have an army. We have a Hulk. I thought the beast had wandered off… You’re missing the point! There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we’ll avenge it!
I’d just like to say I am happy to be here with my family. My super weird family with two black dads, and two Latina daughters, and two white sons, and… Gina.
“Charlie’s in the Order, too, but he’s still in Romania. Dumbledore wants as many foreign wizards brought in as possible, so Charlie’s trying to make contacts on his days off.”
